What It Means to Be a Girl’s Girl

There’s this phrase that gets thrown around a lot — “a girl’s girl.” I used to think it was simple: you support other women, you cheer them on, you don’t tear them down. Easy enough, right? But the older I get, the more I realize not every woman understands what that really means. And even I’ve caught myself wondering… does being a “girl’s girl” sometimes ask too much of us?

Because let’s be honest — it can feel one-sided. You show up, you listen, you celebrate someone’s wins, even when you’re quietly working through your own losses. You defend her name when she’s not around. You send the text checking in after the breakup or the bad day. You put in the effort, not because it’s convenient, but because you believe in the kind of loyalty that doesn’t need to be loud to be real.

But it’s hard when that same energy doesn’t come back around. When you’re the one holding space for everyone else, and suddenly you look around and realize no one’s really holding it for you. When you pour into others and start to feel like your own cup’s running dry.

And sometimes, it’s not even about the effort — it’s about the listening. You try to help, to be honest, to guide them through the storm, but your words hit a wall. They don’t want to hear it. They twist your care into criticism, your honesty into judgment, and suddenly you’re the bad guy for speaking truth. That’s when it stings the most — when you meant well, but they turn on you because you didn’t tell them what they wanted to hear.

Being a girl’s girl doesn’t mean being everyone’s emotional safety net. It means showing up with integrity, but also knowing when to step back and protect your peace. There’s a fine line between being supportive and being self-sacrificial — and I’m learning that real sisterhood can’t exist if it’s only flowing one way.

But then there are those moments when you see how guys move through friendship, and you can’t help but wonder — why can’t we keep it that simple? They don’t overthink loyalty. They don’t make it conditional. They rib each other, call it even, crack a beer, and move on. No silent treatment, no decoding tone, no scoreboard. Just an unspoken understanding: I’ve got your back.

I’ve been learning that being a “girl’s girl” doesn’t have to mean being perfect or endlessly patient. It just means being real. Rooting for women who aren’t in competition with you — and even when they are, choosing grace over gossip. It means calling things out when they’re off, but doing it from a place that builds, not breaks.

We don’t need to complicate it.

We just need to mean it.

Maybe being a girl’s girl is less about the image — the hashtags, the slogans — and more about how you make other women feel when they’re around you. Safe. Seen. Respected.

So yeah, sometimes it feels demanding. But when you find your circle — the women who actually get it — it doesn’t feel like work anymore. It feels like home.